The biennial Belgian Beer Festival held at Giffordtown Village Hall took place on Saturday night. As always it was led by Everyman Doug Wightman – beer lover, lead tea chest bass player in the inestimable Black Cat Jook Band, writer and late GP of this parish.
It was a great night. We had six bottles to sample – three of us sharing each bottle – and how satisfying, that first sip when you’re still stone-cold sober and know you have lots more easy pleasure and company to come. Chips and mayo were served somewhere around beer 4 or 5, adding to the general comfort. At our table we took notes and gave a score and indulged in lots of silly nonsense and extensive reminiscing.
I have found I’m not very good at tasting. I sniff and swill and swallow and wait for the aftertaste, and often struggle to find the right word for what I’m experiencing. Lots of tasting vocabulary is, I feel, downright pretentious; and I’m always suspicious of people who wax lyrical. Perhaps wrongly, I reckon they’re just parroting something they’ve read somewhere. Also, while I’m rummaging around in my mind for a suitable description, I start noticing other people’s responses, and get fascinated by the group dynamics involved. There was none of that pretentiousness stuff on Friday night, and while Rod the Moothie took some ‘proper’ notes, Lesley and I devised the Telly Alternative Tasting Scale.
I give your our menu, with the TATS grade attached:
- ORVAL, 6.2% ABV – Soap Opera, generic (light and delicious, quite frothy, knock it back)
- WITKAP, 5.5% – News at Ten (respectable but not what you’d call distinguished)
- DE DOLLE ARABIER INTERVAL, 8% – Top Gear (in yer face, macho, showing off)
- DE RYCH AREND DUBBEL, 5% – Captain Pugwash (playfully multi-layered and a bit cheeky.)
- NOIR DE DOTTIGNIES, 8.5% – Poldark (Darkly handsome. Fit and feisty, with a surprising frisson of Hygge – Coorie in Scots)
- GOUDEN CAROLUS, 8.5% – Gentleman Jack (Spirited and sophisticated, definitely on a journey. A big favourite round our table.)
The first three were light, the second three dark. Make what you will of my notes, I doubt very much whether they’ll help you choose your next Belgian beer, but maybe you’ll have a wee laugh.
I’m now on the search for a beer to conjure up Happy Valley. Something full of action, character, low life, high drama, tension and suspense. Double chips and mayo will be essential.
A Drawerful of Porridge 